Will Smith Wrong About Chris & Jada Too

Will needs to get a clue, and we all recognize it. Boy was he wrong about protecting his family when he slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars.

The Highlights:

1. It wasn’t protecting his family, it was jeopardizing it. Assault and battery are real crimes. His freedom is now precariously in the hands of a man he publicly embarrassed. If Chris Rock opts to press charges how would it impact his family if he were imprisoned? He also cost his household several income-generating opportunities. The lawsuit from Rock is bound to be monumental also.

2. From a street standpoint, it was cowardly. He snuck Chris so as not to afford him the opportunity to defend himself. Come on stage with violent energy if that’s what you want to get into.

3. Jada did not need protection. Not from words. Words that could be interpreted as a compliment even. Further, had there been definitive insults hurled at Jada, she is perfectly capable of swinging back in kind. Jada is a celebrity, with her own talk show, she has her own platform, her own wits, and her own voice. This isn’t the 1920s.

The Public Is Wrong Also

The incident is way bigger than Will, Chris and Jada in that it unearthed so many traumas of the general public. Public condonation of Will’s Oscars attack is extremely disappointing.

A lot has been learned about the disconnect between men and women, dysfunctional concepts of chivalry, the definition of violence, when protection is required and what level of act is necessary to suffice as protection.

The levels that people have gone to justify physical violence in response to verbal statements is just bothersome. After spending years teaching young men to resolve conflict differently, to manage their reactions to insults, communicating the risks and how to measure the tiny tiny satisfaction in relation thereto, I am truly left at a loss. Women who support his behavior but decry domestic violence as a symptom of toxic masculinity are especially confounding and slowing men’s progress in hearing them. Violence is either appropriate or it isn’t.

So many irrational ill-considered thoughts on the issue were shared on social media immediately following the incident. Meanwhile a week later, so much of the negative fallout for Will has borne out how wrong many were. Unfortunately, we are in a place where people are so far out on the limb with a completely uncivil, unsophisticated, barbaric position on social media that they feel they can’t backtrack without losing some sort of fake social media respect I guess. Yet and still, if you are on the “what Will did was right to protect Jada” side of this, you need to step up and own that you may have been wrong. That would garner the utmost respect.

Not convinced? Here are few real-world examples of how ridiculous anyone saying this was about protecting Jada sounds:

1. Mom to 15-year-old son: If they ever say I’m bald headed while playing the dozens smack them and protect me.

2. Father to 11-year-old son: If they call you names in front of other people walk right over to them and slap them.

3. Supervisor to employee reporting on the job altercation: Did you make an off-colored joke about something they are sensitive about? Oh, you did? Yes well, they had to protect themselves from your disrespect when they smacked you, get back to work.

4. Teacher to student: If anyone in my class talks about your sister, mother, grandmother, you’re encouraged to protect your family and slap them.

The mixed messages about violence and “toxic masculinity” that are being sent are evidence enough that Will and those who condone his violence as justified got it and are getting it wrong. Your sons, nephews, brothers, and grandsons are taking their cues from your positions on this.

Alas, in all this, one role model did elevate himself, however. Chris deserves a round of applause for the restraint and composure he displayed and too few are talking about it. Just because he made some jokes that some find in bad taste it doesn’t take away from the fact that his composure saved Will from greater fallout. Salut.